2018 LIFE LESSON

I just came back from my diving trip in Pulau perhentian..
Which is awesome..
Diving sites are extremely pretty and beautiful..
Today i’m on mc and it’s friday night..
I can’t help thinking of how blessed i am today..
Alhamdulillah..
Allah basically gave me a tremendous blessings..
I realized and learn some things..

1. No one or nothing is permanent.. i finally came to terms that friendship that once you thought will last a lifetime could end. That guy you think will be part of your future now became your stranger.
2. New food, friend and life and hobbies..
I realized that travelling helps me to meet new people. Experience life and food. I meet people who made me laugh or searching the same thing that i am searching for. How a stranger feels more of a friend than your real friends.. How new things/activities help you in daily life struggles.
I am very stressful with work these days. Dun get me wrong. I love my job despite the stres.but i dun like the company of people i have. So when i went diving and meet up with this new faces who put a smile on my face. I felt more at home with them then elsewhere. It’s weird but i love it that way..
3. A home is not a place but a feeling
Penang is not my home. It stopped being my home for many years. A home to me is where my heart felt at most happy.. with my friends or work or something.. a home to me can be when i am down bottom on the ocean swimming with the fish..i love diving and also hiking.. both makes me more alive than anything inthe world.. scuba diving taught me to breathe and that’s how life is.. you just gotta breathe and then live.. Hiking brought you sweats and tiredness but the reward is priceless.. tat feeling when you are up there and listening to wind.. Hiking is how i viewed success.. because success do not happen overnight.. you gotta put in the effort and work and only then you will see the finishing line and receiving your prize..
4. Being single is the best thing in my life..
The revelation of the truths had kept me to understand that Allah is always the best planner..
So what if everyone has their own man or kids and you dun? Does it make me less establish as a woman? No.. this is my reality.. this is what Allah has in stored for me.. Allah does  not want me to settle for less than i deserve because anyone who knows me know that i am a person who would give my all to people i love.. just dun hurt me.. i love the fact that i am able to execute my plan.. i woke to stress free life.. soaking in my freedom doing things i love.. sure i am more further away than my married friends.. can you blame me? All you guys talk is about your kids.. i get it, your kids are your world.. and i love babies.. just that i felt like people who are married forget about their own dreams and just choose the easy way out.. not trying to strive harder reaching out for their dream.. dun ever blame your kids to stop you from reaching your dreams..and stop telling me i have an easy life when in actual fact you wish for my life..
5. People will keep talking and judging you
This part.. i am guilty as charges.. i also judged others.. i stopped living for a year trying to think how i can win affection of a man who stopped giving shit. In actual truth, he was super judging me..
Then i finally accept that he has always been judge by others. So I decided not to judge him and wish him the best in life.. in the end the only person i care is myself..
will continue once i finished with stuff

PERFECTLY UNMARRIED

What i’m about to write might insult married couples but i hope they will not take any offenses..

I realized the kinda man i rather spend my life with..

But in actual truth, i am trully happy not being married..

I mean i do have days i wish and dream of being married..

Used to have..

These days, i love the fact that i can focus on my career..

Go on trips..

Meet new people..

Experience new things..

To focus on achieving my goals and visions..

I understand now that Allah really does has bigger plans..

I was not meant with the previous guys because they are not the right man for me..

I went diving and i realized that it takes somethings to really helpnyou heal..

New faces to bring joy and fix your scars and wounds..

Surrounded by gorgeous males..

Being taking care of..

Weird but actually amusing..

I am in love with the place and the people..

Thank you so much amazing people in Perhentian..

You helped me healed and gained happiness and smiles through ky cacation days..

For once, i only think about breathing for me..

Living for me..

And here i am at home, missing everyone and the sea..

Not every good things last..

I get that..

I can accept the fact..

But i will strive more happiness coming forward..

Coz i now valued myself highly..

I deserved this happiness..

I want to stay positively happy..

Spreading happiness..

And i will keep doing extreme things that makes me alive..

Because that adrenaline rush makes me feel more alive than any feeling in the world..

And i finally able to smile and laugh again with people i truly feel like a family..

For now, dun tell me i need to get marry or settle down..

I dun see myself being part of another person’s life..

I either get too attached or wounded..

I dun think having a husband will bring me the greatest joy..

Being marry brings out obligation..

Following orders..

I can follow but i’m not sure i am able to find the right man to lead..

Coz the men i used to want are either taken or married..

Or used me..

This bubble is my safety net..

I am not ready to get out of it..

I am happy.. happy unmarried.. perfectly unmarried..